GOSSIP

A friend rushes up to you and asks, "Is it true?  Are you OK?"  You scratch your head and ask, "What are you talking about?"  Then you find out that your friend heard your relationship had broken up.  When you try to find out where this story came from, the trail leads nowhere.

Later on the way to class, you walk with another trainee who starts talking about how she heard that your roommate has "mental problems - like I heard she takes medicine and everything.  I bet it's because she was messed with when she was little.  She's psycho!" 

Now you’re thinking: What is going on here?! 

What’s happening is GOSSIP, something that occurs way too frequently on center.  Gossip is often thought of as being the same as slander and rumor, but whatever word is used, gossip usually refers to:

Ø      Saying something negative about someone, whether it’s true or not

Ø      Telling a secret you promised not to reveal

Ø      Passing on information you're not sure is even true

Who gossips?  Well, the truth is that all of us probably have done so at one time or another.  Yet, there are those who gossip regularly and often, with little care or regard for the feelings of others.  Have you run into any of these people?

Ø      The trainee who just seems to enjoy stirring up trouble

Ø      The trainee who always acts like the person in the know, the one who has so-called information no one else seems to have

Ø      The trainee who seems to want to be your instant best friend, sharing secrets too quickly and expecting you to do the same

Ø      The trainee who never has a good thing to say about anyone, and who loves to drop little negative hints about people.

What do all gossipers have in common?  Low self-esteem.  After all, people who feel good about themselves are not likely to spend much time building up their own sense of power and worth by tearing down someone else.

How do you stop the gossip mill?  The answer is simple: be firm and consistent in refusing to gossip.  The person to start with is yourself: Make a commitment that you will no longer gossip.  That means

Ø      Not talking trash about others, even if they hurt your feelings

Ø      Not telling a secret that you're dying to share

Ø      Not passing on a story, even if you heard it was true.

Besides yourself, be firm with anyone who tries to bring gossip to you:

Ø      If someone tries to tell you a rumor, politely say that you don’t wish to listen, and never repeat what you may have heard

Ø      If someone entrusts you with a secret, just keep it to yourself

Remember also that you don’t like being talked about, and neither does anyone else.  If we all agree to stop gossiping, we will cut down on the drama that gossip creates, and make the center a better place to live and learn.

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